Okay, so let’s *not* talk about the fact that it’s been about 6 weeks since my last post.  I was reminded of this fact today when a coworker of Joey Snackpants asked if I was going to discuss my Oreo-induced freakish dreams on my blog (the answer is definitely not).  We’re going to talk about something else.

Namely: Christmas shopping.

Being female, I think it’s generally expected that I both A) enjoy Christmas shopping and B) can be described as good at it. Despite what the male population may think, not all women have a natural talent for such things. While my friend Lyn has this amazing knack for finding the perfect gift for anyone, and doing so on a budget, I tend to sit and wonder what the heck I am going to do!!!

Being far removed from all of my friends and generally having no idea what they already have, need or want, it’s a bit perplexing to me where to begin on this matter. By some miracle I have managed to figure out what Snackpants is getting, though he won’t have any idea until he reads it here.

I would like to give mad props to Amazon for introducing the Universal WishList feature, and now they even have an option to ‘bookmark’ something on a person’s wish list if you are picking it somewhere else, thereby eliminating the problem of double gifting. Which has nothing to do with what I got for Snackpants. Or does it?

Regardless, we are 21 days, exactly 3 weeks out from Christmas Day, and I have no idea what to get half the people I would like to buy for! Never mind the fact that the Snacktacular holiday party is only a week away and several gifts must be procured by that time.

Christmas Elves! I need some guidance here!

A few months ago, a skinny kitty appeared downstairs at my apartment complex. We believe that she is an abandoned house cat because of her burning desire to try and sneak into the house at every chance (she has only been successful once). She’s real friendly, moderately vocal, and even comes when I call her. If Snackpants weren’t so insanely allergic, I would totally keep her.

Now that the weather has cooled down a bit in Middle Georgia, we have taken to opening the windows during the day and attempting to get as much of a cross breeze as possible. Now that the windows are open more often, Kitty can hear us inside and makes her presence known. Tonight she scared the crap out of me as I rounded the corner, because she also has a fondness for talking to me like this:

I think it’s really cute and funny when it’s not making me wet myself because she’s doing this at night. Nevermind the fact that she looks like a demon cat in the picture.

Now we just have to make sure that she doesn’t choose our porch as the birthplace for her kittens. Not sure how long cats let the babies cook before they birth them, but I think she’s getting close. She went and got herself knocked up while she was in heat a few months ago. Because having one stray cat to feed isn’t enough for all of us.

Earlier this week, for what constituted our “weekend” on Monday and Tuesday, Snackpants decided to take me to Savannah for a little getaway. We had an awesome time wandering around the city, being tourists, and exploring many of the local pubs, of which there are a great many.

Monday night we ended up in Kevin Barry’s Pub on River Street where we found ourselves sitting at the bar with a party of drunk middle-aged guys. There were about 8 of them and we later found out that they work for a company that sells sewer pumps and had budgets due the next day so they were drinking away their worries because they were not going to hit their sales goals.

As the night wore on, one of them got slowly more and more drunk while the rest of them went home to get some sleep, and this one guy kept hitting on the waitress at the bar. Turns out she has a cop boyfriend, though he continued to pursue her anyway. In an effort to boost his morale and “help him out”, Snackpants made the following comment:

“It’s only serious if there’s a ring.”

Excuse me, what?!?

He tried to save himself after this one, but the damage had been done. That’s how you define serious, Mr. Snackpants? I can see we are going to have some problems then. Being that we live in a military town, I don’t think I would have too much trouble finding another casual boyfriend (or two) since I appear to be mistaken about the commitment level in this relationship.

When you come home to find me gone, having run off with some 19 year old recruit, remember that you dug your own grave with this one! Then you’ll recall the immortal words of the great Beyonce: “If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.”

Dance it out for me, Ava!

**Note: I am not actually going to find another (or more) “casual” boyfriends, in case you were seriously worried. I threatened Snackpants with a post about this one so here it is.

**Edit: I know he is getting a lot of crap about this one. I also know he didn’t mean it the way it came out. Blame it on the 3 Irish Car Bombs. I do.

I admit that I am a huge nerd, and while I was wandering aimlessly around Target today, I came across this bottle and decided I had to have it.

It’s like a spill-proof sippy cup for adults. Does it get any better than that??

Made by Thermos, it is even more awesome than I expected it to be. Of course, it’s not a water bottle. That would be discrimination against other beverages. So it’s called a “hydration” bottle. Made of double insulated stainless steel. And I am pleased to say that it really does what it claims to do.

When you push the little grey button on the lid, it snaps open to reveal a straw, which is then pinched shut when you close the lid so there is no leaking. Hence, spill-proof sippy cup. Of course I had to hold the bottle upside down to test this out, because I am that mature. And of course, it did  not leak all over the place. Which was good, cause I was not in the mood to clean up that mess!

This bottle is made of pure awesome. It claims to keep cold things cold for up to 12 hours. I managed to test it for 3 hours today before I ran out of green tea, but it stayed cold the whole time. And the absolute best part was that the outside of the bottle does not feel cold, and it does not sweat! No more rings all over the place or getting your hands damp every time you want a drink. Pure. Awesome.

The only thing that would make it better is a carrying hook or strap of some kind. Though, since it does not sweat, I have zero problem putting it inside a bag with other things, so it may not need one after all.

You know the first thing I thought when I saw it today? “This would be perfect for my booze at Dragon*Con!”

I am such a nerd.

Though I have absolutely no authority in the matter, except in my own mind, I have decided that July 27, 2009 shall be stricken from the record books and we will just do it all over tomorrow and hope for a better day.

Except for the cold hands doctor. We shall not redo that tomorrow.

Good night, people! For today was only a figment of your imagination…

… and I am addicted to yarn!

There, I said it. Phew! This has only become a problem in recent years. More so in recent months. Something about the creation process has turned my brain to mush and all I want to do is knit beautiful things… and then give them away! I think it’s a disease, really.

Today we hitched up the wagon and rode into town (which is what I like to say when we get off our butts and make the 20 mile drive into Macon) for 3 purposes: visit the storefront side of the Snackpants place of employment, take some of his work shirts to be embroidered with the company logo, and visit the yarn store that is sadly going out of business but happily has everything 50% off. SCORE!

This is my haul:

Cost less than $40 too, which is pretty awesome if you know anything about yarn. I got a LOT of the pink one, and the purple is the same brand. I think the light pink is going to become a lovely hat for myself, the green is alpaca and I have never used it so figured what the hey! The white looking ones in the middle are actually more of an off-white with blue highlights. Should be very nice!

The problem with going to the store to buy yarn with no idea what you will make from it. I find that it causes me to buy more things than I actually need (like I actually *need* any of it!) but it also causes me to find more things to make. Or something like that.

The REAL problem is finding homes for everything I make! I just don’t need 86 knit hats and scarves and baby hats and blankets and all that.

Time to run. I think Snackpants just called me a wench so I am going to punch him in the junk. Or at least threaten to.

That’s right! I have finished the baby blanket! I am actually quite impressed with myself, if I do say so… myself. Which I do. Have a look:

The magnificence! The splendor! The pink baby-ness of it all! It will please me to take this to my NICU tour on Tuesday to see if I can make it a donation, along with some of the hats that I have made. It’s always nicer to have a purpose in making these things, I think.

In other news, I nearly had a freakin’ heart attack last night when someone set off a really loud fire cracker that sounded like they were trying to break down the door. I had that momentary sense of panic wash over me until I realized what it was, knew I was being ridiculous… and went back to sleep.

In honor of the 233rd birthday of the grand ole US of A, I am doing nothing patriotic. Because Snackpants is working and I have nowhere to go today! However, I did hit the grocery store earlier today to pick up a little American dessert:

Yellow cake, chocolate frosting, red, white and blue sprinkles… the only thing I cannot explain is the random bright pink icing in the middle. Regardless, it should be yummy after our dinner! Now I just have to figure out what we  are eating…

To help escape my boredom while I watch reruns of Bones on the DVR, I am knitting a preemie baby blanket. I have a tour of the NICU coming up on Tuesday and have made some teeny tiny hats to see if the hospital will take donations, and am now working on a blanket! It’s not my first attempt at a blanket, but will be my first complete project once it’s done. It’s done in a basket weave, which looks far more complex than it actually is:

With any luck, it will be done by Tuesday so I can take it with me. Woo!

Happy 4th of July! Have fun and try not blow your fingers off with fireworks, okay??